Submission? Not for me!

Well, this was once how I felt.  God continues working with me on the issue of obedience and submission, and has for many years.
I have a very rebellious nature and have had to face this in my walk with the Lord.  God’s word equates rebellion to witchcraft, which was quite an eye opener for me.  (I Samuel 15:23 nkjv).
Through this realization, the Lord walks with me, teaching about submission and obedience. He is helping me understand true freedom is found when I am in right relationship with Him.  Right relationship is where I willingly yield to Him and obey without questioning.  In this posture, I acknowledge Him as sovereign over my life.  I seek Him, and only Him as my source of love, self-worth, and approval.
I know many women struggle with the concept of submission and obedience, and we all prickle a bit reading Ephesians 5:22, instructing women to submit to and obey their husbands.  They see this posture and position as weak and powerless.  Yet are we  missing the truth?  True power and freedom come from God.  As we turn our lives over to Him, follow His plan and seek wisdom from His word, He will give us the desires of our hearts.  The thing is, most of us do not even know the desires of our own hearts.  We get caught up in pride, the political issues and social mores of the day, and we let these guide us.  However, God sees past our facade and blustering words.  He knows exactly what our hearts long for; an intimacy that touches both body and soul.
God has been using the image of a wild, untamed horse to show me the condition of my heart.  Over the years He has used this image again and again to lead and guide me in a process of healing my heart.  He is my personal horse whisper…the one who in peace and gentleness whispers to my heart until all I desire is to chase after Him.  In this chasing, I am completely free and unrestrained, yet no longer wild.~♡

See, I am doing a new thing!

I love this word for my life today!  God asks us not to dwell on the past, but focus on His promises.  He makes ALL things new!  What was once a barren wasteland, He causes life giving springs and streams within our hearts and minds to flow.  I live in the Southwest desert and see this very truth in the desert all around me.  I may feel all dried up, but God sees something beautiful and He is making a way in my desert.  Yes! I perceive it!  Yes!  I receive it! ~♡

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Take Courage

He is in the waiting…

I had a dream about a month ago I feel was sent to me from God.  In the dream, the chorus from the song “Take Courage ” which sings  ‘He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting’, kept repeating, and as this verse was repeating, a single, very full white daisy filled the vision.

He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting

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When I woke, I wrote my impressions of the dream in my notebook next to my bed.  Later, I looked up the meaning and symbolism for white daisy.  My eyes traveled down the page as if directed and stopped on this:

Daisy’s are composite flowers, meaning they actually consist of two flowers combined into one.  The inner section is called a disc floret, and the outer petal section is called a ray floret.  Because daisies are composed of two flowers that blend together so well, they symbolize true love.

In my heart I feel God is showing me as I rest in Him and wait, resisting all temptations to rush out ahead of Him as I have in the past, I will enter into a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him.  He is in the waiting.  He is fully present with me and for me in the waiting.

I have experienced Him in the last several days holding my hand with our fingers entwined, the way two lovers do.  No longer holding my hand as a father and child, hands cupped together, His in the leading position.

I see Him lying face to face next to me.  His eyes on me with love and compassion.  I breath in deeply and feel all the love He has for me.  

There are moments as I am in the waiting, I feel Him reach over and gently brush my cheek with the back of his fingers.  In these moments I feel seen, understood, and deeply loved for who I am.

I feel He is showing me the daisy as a promise of true love.  Two becoming one flesh.  I am not certain if the promise is to say He has prepared a very special man for me, a true love, or the promise is the fulfillment of His true love for me being complete and fulfilled through this season of waiting.

Either way, I trust Him and know something amazing is taking place in my heart and soul.

Below are the lyrics to the song “Take Courage“.

Take Courage

Songwriters: Kristene DiMarco / Jeremy Riddle

Slow down, take time

Breath in He said

He’d reveal what’s to come

The thoughts in His mind

Always higher than mine

He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting

Hold onto your hope

As your triumph unfolds

He’s never failing, He’s never failing

Sing praise my soul

Find strength in joy

Let His Words lead you on

Do not forget His great faithfulness

He’ll finish all He’s begun

So take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting

And You who hold the stars

Who call them each by name

Will surely keep, Your promise to me

That I will rise, in Your victory!

So take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting

And hold onto your hope

Watch your triumph unfold

He’s never failing, He’s never failing

 

So take courage my heart

Stay steadfast my soul

He’s in the waiting

He’s in the waiting

And hold onto your hope

Watch your triumph unfold

He’s never failing, He’s never failing!

 

Be Still and Know…

In every situation, pause and look for God. He is there, standing beside you in your pain and confusion waiting patiently to lead you. Patiently waiting for the roar of thoughts and emotions to subside until the still small voice breaks through, a fresh breeze soothing the soul.

Through submission, meaning and purpose are redeemed.

 

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Your Life Is Not Boring

This is a great reminder, and exactly what I needed to hear right now! I am so blessed by all I have experienced and learned this year.

2018 started out with an amazing call from God to step out of my comfort zone and explore true intimacy with Him. He set amazing divine appointments with people to walk beside me on this journey, teachers to keep me anchored in His word, and fresh perspectives of the amazing world and people all around me. ~I am blessed!~♡

Eliza ~♡

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Lover of my Soul

Dear Jesus,

So many intense feelings lately!  They crash over me with such intensity, I feel off-balance most of the time.  I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere.  I find myself sharing at such a deeply intense level, I make people uncomfortable.  I feel them shifting and gracefully finding an out so they no longer need to witness or hear my raw, unfiltered self.

Through all of this, I am being drawn closer to You.  I feel how intensely You want to connect with me at this new level.  I have felt You shifting my relationship from Papa God, to You, Jesus, my Beloved, the lover of my soul.  I have written about this, I have talked about this, and this word was confirmed in today’s message at church.  

I feel You beside me, and I feel myself yielding to You, to your presence.  I am learning to listen to Your still small voice and become comfortable following where I feel and see You leading me.

This is all so new and it is a little unsettling.  But I have been settled too long.  I have been settling for too long.  I want You to lead me in every action and every word I speak.  I know I won’t be perfect, I know I will fall short, and I know You know this, but You love me anyway.  You just want to hear me say these words. “I want to follow You, I want You to lead me.”

I am very tired my Love Jesus.  I want to go to sleep and feel you watching over me.  I want to dream about You.  I want You to speak to me in my dreams and tell me where You want me to go next, where our next adventure is.  Where You wish me to go so we can be together in reaching out to all who are lost, lonely, forgotten.  I want to dream about how much You love me and desire me, and want me walking so closely with You, I never feel alone or like I don’t belong.

Goodnight my sweet Jesus!  I love You! ~ Amen!

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Abundantly Blessed

I am abundantly blessed.  There are so many things I have taken for granted, yet as I feel led by the Lord to dive deeper into intercessory prayer, I am taking every opportunity to pray for my community.  I see those things I take as a given, are prayers and a longings in others’ lives.

I wake and effortlessly get out of bed to start my day.  I exercise, a simple daily walk, yet this is not possible for those who struggle with health issues.  I get ready to go into the office and work.  I have work, a job, a way to support my home, feed and clothe myself bless others as I am gainfully employed.

I get into my car and make the trek to work each day.  I have friends who have no vehicle and must rely on others, the public transit system, and their ability to walk where they need to go.  I pray for breakthrough and job opportunities, reliable transportation, the means to repair a broken down car.

Thankful

I manage a team, helping people move forward with their educational and career goals.  All these responsibilities, but also opportunities to bless those I work with.  Opportunities to pray, and pour into their lives.  I am also blessed by their stories, the work they do to support our team, and company vision.  I am blessed to see their faces each day and work together solving problems, helping each other to be successful.  I am humbled and deeply moved when they share their burdens and allow me to pray with and for them.

When I return home, I have only to care for myself, my own needs.  I fill my time with works of service, entertainment, and relaxation.  I think of the prayers I pray for people going through major crisis who live with stress and anxiety, not knowing if they will be able to take care of themselves or their families.  Not knowing if they will have the resources to take care of the basics.  Wondering if their health coverage will be enough to address the issues they are facing.  Will they be able to be there for a sick family member, or sit at the bedside of a dying parent?  So many needs, and so many overlooked blessings all around us.

Prayer changes things.  Prayer moves mountains.  Prayer changes hearts.  Prayer is a powerful gift from God.  If you ever feel yourself in a state of stress, feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances, or lacking for anything, pray.  Pray for yourself, then look around and pray for your loved ones.  Pray for your community.  Prayer is having an amazing effect on my life.  It is changing me and waking me moment by moment to the truth of how abundantly blessed I am. ~♡

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Extravagantly Loved

Remember the feeling you have as a young lover, realizing there is someone who sees you as perfect and perfectly suited to them? This is also the experience you have when God allows you to see yourself through His eyes.  He sees you as beautiful, perfect and perfectly suited to be His bride. He shows you all those wonderful and unique things about who He created you to be and how all of this is fulfilled as you become one with Him

I am extravagantly loved and blessed by God.  He is so intimately beside me each day as I walk with Him and continue to grow in my love for Him and obedience to His will and way.   He has brought incredible teachers into my life always, and this year,  I am awakening to this truth more each day. Amazing…

I journal as a way of praying and talking to God, and before I write, I review what I have written months or years in the past.  At the end of this year I found an entry from May 29th 2017, which has become an amazing exploration of true intimacy with God.

Through this process I began corresponding with a wonderful godly man who I believe was a God led encounter to help both of us grow in our walk with Him.  I was asked to serve as a co-leader in a life group serving with a wonderful godly woman who continues to inspire me with her commitment and courage to become intimately involved in the lives of the women we were entrusted to lead. Our church began a series exploring the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  We were doubly blessed to have him visit our church as a guest pastor.  I was invited to become a prayer partner at my church campus.

Each of these I treasure as very special teachers and opportunities, brought to me by God, answers to my desire and prayers to walk more closely in true intimacy with Him.

This year started with correspondence from my dear friend, in which we exchanged our thoughts and impressions of what true intimacy with God looked like, using scripture as our guide.  I pulled from Song of Solomon and spoke of the intoxicating, all-consuming intense desires of young love and how our hunger and desire for God should drive us to seek Him fervently and relentlessly.  My dear friend took an altogether different approach, speaking of how a mature love, born of trials brings true intimacy with God.

I wrote, “Remember the feeling you have as a young lover, realizing there is someone who sees you as perfect and perfectly suited to them? This is also the experience you have when God allows you to see yourself through His eyes.  He sees you as beautiful, perfect and perfectly suited to be His bride.  He shows you all those wonderful and unique things about who He created you to be and how all of this is fulfilled as you become one with Him.

From this place, you are filled with a light shining for all the world to see.  You see everyone differently, you enter their presence, even in their sin and disgrace, and you see the beautiful child God created and longs to become one with, just as he became one with you.  Returning to your first love, being filled with that light shining for all the world to see, will draw all men unto Him.  Good works flow from this.”

He wrote in response, “I believe to experience a level of intimacy and intoxication is first required a level of maturity. Noticed that David went through a lot of trials and difficulties to experience intimacy with God, just as the apostles experienced those as well.  Even Jesus grew in stature and wisdom (Luke 2:52) before his ministry began.
I believe that when you love someone the way Christ called us to, and you respect and accept them because of who they are in Christ, and both of them are lovers of Jesus and lead by His Spirit, then something magical and beautiful takes place and that is when Eliza loses control and becomes spirit driven.

There is a song by Kim Walker called ‘Where You Go I Go’,  and in that song there is a part that expresses what I believe intimacy is:

Jesus only did what He saw you do,

He would only say what He heard you speak,

He would only move where He felt you lead,

Following your heart,

Following your spirit.

I believe that intimacy with God is a Spirit lead life where complete transparency, complete dependency and complete obedience is found.”

This concept of letting go of the need to control, and taking a submissive and obedient role next to Jesus, the lover of my soul, helped me to see how submission and obedience is an incredibly intimate posture.  This is only born through trials, suffering, and the maturing of a love relationship with Jesus.

As our love grows, deepens and matures through the trials and storms we walk through with Him by our side.  Through this we come to trust and lean into Him.  Then, submission and obedience is the fully expressed union of two becoming one flesh.

From here, we no longer rush out ahead, trying to figure out and predict the outcomes, we simply go where He leads, following His heart and Spirit because we are so in sync.  We are in right relationship with him as the head and we as a fully submitted bride.

As I continue to meditate on this new insight, I find myself saying yes to opportunities to serve in my faith community, as the Lord leads.  It is no longer an obligation, but it is a joy and instead of draining me of energy, it energizes me.  I show up expectant and excited to see where God will lead through these experiences.

It continues to be an amazing and wonderful journey and He continues to teach me so much about His love for me and for all His children, for His beloved.