Too Late, Too Damaged…

I married in my early twenties, knowing it was for all the wrong reasons… we both had doubts we should be together.  When you are young, you lack wisdom, but have energy, hope and naivete in spades.  Sometimes life breaks us down as we go through trials,  our hearts are broken… We either turn to God and allow Him to do His perfect work on our hearts, or we become bitter, cynical, and lose hope.

For my story, I feel more hopeful, healthy, and equipped to be in a godly loving relationship than any other time in my life.  I have been divorced for over twenty years, only dating about two years after my divorce.  When I finally fully gave my life to Christ, I entered into a covenant relationship with Him, and I stopped dating, committing to grow in my relationship with God.  During these years I focused on my career, my education, and becoming deeply rooted in my faith and love for Jesus.

Just this year I felt God stirring me, challenging me to open my heart, let go of all my fears, doubts, and need to predict and control outcomes, just ‘fall’ in love… Through this journey, my heart has opened and I am experiencing a deep connection with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit.  In this, I feel incredibly vulnerable.  I am learning this is the absolute best place to be.  It is when I am most vulnerable, God does His best work.  In this state, I am completely dependent, and intimately aware of my need for Him.  In this place, I desperately need His leading and guidance.

As I submit and cling to Him, staying intimately close, I am connecting with others, and experiencing incredible divine appointments on a regular basis.  Focusing on deepening my relationship with Him, keeping my heart wide open, is the perfect place and time for a godly loving relationship to develop.

There was a point several years ago I felt the chance for a godly loving relationship was gone, and I resolved to being alone and single for the rest of my life.  Now I know God’s timing is always perfect.  In His perfect plan and will for my life, there is never a too old, too late, or too damaged.  I know every day God has something new and wonderful to show me as I risk being vulnerable and commit to keeping my heart wide open. ~♡